there. i said it.
traveling is awesome. it’s amazing. i have seen and experienced some pretty awesome things in the past few months for which i am forever grateful.
but it’s not home. we try to make it home. we decorate with things that represent us and don’t take much space. we try and forget that space matters in our home and pretend we’re okay with it not representing us at all. but i miss home. i miss my house. i miss my creaky floors and paint chips and the old bones of that house.
i miss our community. i miss the evening that has no plans and a list of wonderful friends to call and have over for tea or a glass of wine. i miss being known. i miss having friends who know my story so that experiences or events that come up don’t need explanation but make sense and are woven into our story together.
i miss our cat. i will take the title of crazy cat lady any day. our cat is currently missing, roaming the streets of grand rapids and that breaks my heart. i want to cuddle with her and play fetch with her. i want a warm furry body to know when i’m sad and come and comfort me. i don’t want to be alone in an apartment, i want a cat with me (cue, pathetic cat lady).
i also know, deep within me, that this time is precious. i know we are supposed to be traveling right now even though it feels lonely and uncomfortable. i take comfort in that. i believe in that. and i also know that i will choose to live in grand rapids. it is not because i grew up there and have no other place to go. it is because i love it. it is because there are amazing people there and that is worth a lot.