making home.

i believe we have entered phase two of our time in san francisco. that feels good.

phase one was a roller coaster. so many feelings of “this is supposed to be awesome and it isn’t.” or constantly asking “what is wrong with us? why aren’t we loving it here? ” or just sitting with the fact that maybe we aren’t big city folk. maybe.

phase two ushered itself in very oddly. i was traveling for work, chris hauled all of our belongings to a new apartment, shut the door, and headed back to grand rapids. six days later, we arrived back to a new apartment and began to make home here.

this new place has ushered in new life for us here in san francisco. we are saving money here. we have a parking spot (!!!!!). we have natural sunlight. we have a full refrigerator so our produce won’t go bad. ultimately, this new apartment feels like home and that is important given that it’s been four months since we called our home in grand rapids home.

more than a new place, something has changed on the inside. phase two ushers in a little less frantic “we have to see and do everything” and a little more “let’s lead normal life here”. this weekend consisted of laundry, organizing, cooking, and decorating our new place. that felt good. normal felt good.

we have also started to make friends. i’ve always considered myself an independent person but it can get lonely in a big city. some nights were the good kind of lonely, enjoying quiet at home. some nights were the bad “i’m doing laundry on a saturday night” kind of lonely. but through all of those days and nights, i’ve learned about this city. i’ve learned about places to go, people to see, and a pie shop to love. google maps doesn’t reign my life anymore, i can navigate.

pie at chile pies & ice cream
pie. our favorite shop. this could be trouble

last weekend we went on a hike to land’s end. it’s beautiful and literally where the land ends. we went with friends, we jumped on rocks, we climbed up cliffs and we laughed. we had good conversation, true conversation and ended the day with delicious indian food. it was a tipping point, a day where you breathe deeply, sigh, and just stand in gratefulness that you’re in this place, can enjoy this peace.

land's end, san francisco
there is a labyrinth and apparently chris being pushed over.

land's end san francisco

it won’t stay this way forever, i know that. but right now i’ve been given a gift. i have the balance of adventures and new experiences while beginning to make friends and relationships. that balance is hard, it takes work, and it is here in some small ways which i am so grateful and in awe of.

with thanksgiving approaching, i can only stand back in awe of what God has brought into my life, how he has shaped every experience in the last few months for good. how he has brought us through phases and how we trust he’ll bring us through more. this thanksgiving won’t be with my family with a midwest chill. it won’t be in a cozy large home, but it will be where we call home for now. and i’m blessed that it will be with friends. for this i am grateful.


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