people must think i am so strange. lately, i’ve been having these random moments of missing people or events that hit me straight in the gut. i’ll be talking with a person in normal conversation and then BAM i’m off in some other world thinking of someone because i heard a song that reminded me of them, or someone’s manerism, or something random. it just completely catches me off guard.
the other day, i was listening to music while reading and a song came on that was played at a friend’s wedding and i missed her and that event so much that i just burst into tears. or earlier today i was riding bike with my good friend katie and we rode through puddles and had mud lines down our backs, and i thought of my parents and how that is my mom’s worst fear in bike riding, because she knows of the laundry and stain stick to come.
this week began the training for the 2011 Camp Roger staff. the weather has been perfect, sunny, warm, and just ripe for heading out into the woods. i have been inside at work doing everything in my power not to bolt from my office chair and head straight to the woods to enlist on staff this year. sometimes i almost burst out crying at my desk (mid email) just thinking about the beautiful day getting away from me or being with a staff i love 24/7.
but the kicker to all this was a few weeks ago at my favorite local brewery – Brewery Vivant. i was sipping my beer happily with friends when “let’s get shaky” came on over the speakers. this was the signature song of my study abroad in australia, the soundtrack that plays in my head when i remember this experience. i immediately busted out my phone and texted all my australian friends because i had never heard this song in the States except on my very own ipod. after i sent out the texts, i sat back in the booth and didn’t speak because no one i was with understood, or ever could, what this song meant to me.
at the end of this though, i am grateful. so grateful that i have had so many experiences like this to look back on with fondness. so grateful for the many seasons of my life that have been full of joy, laughter, and growth. i see these emotions and tears as signs of life – and the craving for more of it.